Holy Fucking Shit Balls!

I found a pup. It was born in Texas, this week. Here are pictures of her parents:

Papa


Mama

I spy (aka birthday present ideas)

I am planning a Peeping Tom web project. I want to install 10-20 motion sensing pinhole spy cams in my house. Current definite locations include: the ceiling over my bed, both toilets, the shower, the bathroom mirror, the front and back doors (my mom suggested these), one near the computer with a clear shot of the keyboard so that I could steal my own passwords (some people call this remembering), one wide shot of each room (kitchen, little bathroom, big bathroom, living room, dining room, hall, tv room, mom's bedroom, my bedroom).

What are the implications on spying on one's self? Also, it would be interesting to have a programming friend of mine write some type of algorithm that breaks down how much time I spend in each place, how frequently I am naked, how often I talk to myself, pace, pick my nose, etc.

Would I all of a sudden appear sexy to people if they thought they were spying on me? Is spying different when you know you are being watched? Would I show-off for the cameras?

So, if you are looking for a quick and easy gift to send for my birthday why not but a few of these babies in your shopping cart and send them my way?

Bridget Kennedy's House (Version One)

She found me on the front steps
I did not tell her what had gone wrong
I simply asked if I could call my mom

When you picked me up
we drove home in my tough guy silence
which always betrayed my lack of toughness

In our low rent apartment building
I collapsed on your bed dejected
a stranger in my own life

and you told me it was time I started acting more like a girl

Intensive Care Version Three

So it is now on dry winter nights
when it seems as though everything
life-like is cracked and broken
I go searching under sinks
and in boxes bent from disuse
for a little black dog, the creature
who diligently kept my secrets,
and would lick my sore feet to sleep.